I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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