its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
