Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize