Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have fence marks all over my body
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
