I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
