If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
