sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
