Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
