Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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