I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
