remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
