4 words: hood of his car
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
