Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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