talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
