just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
