I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Two words: blizzard sex
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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