The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
