Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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