i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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