i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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