Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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