you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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