the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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