I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
