I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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