she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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