Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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