Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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