Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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