If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Holy shit dude........stairs
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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