ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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