my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
