I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
