I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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