i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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