He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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