i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize