I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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