My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
