if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
