He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
