Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
