I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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