i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its not stalking. its research.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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