I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
