thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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