Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
