Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
