My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize