i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
