last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
