if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
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