Non-Jews are for practice
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
