I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
