Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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