were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
