I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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