I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Damn victory sex feels great
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
