What did we do last night that was yellow?
Quick, to the slutcave!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize